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Jennifer’s Photo Stories (21)曾錚的圖片故事(21)

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The Awakening of Self-consciousness 十六歲時的傷感

 

This photo was taken on my 16th birthday. That was the year when I started to have self-awareness, self-consciousness and even self-pity… If I were a flower, I had started “anticipating” my withering and falling even before I fully blossomed. Sometimes I was as sensitive as Lin Daiyu in the Dream of the Red Chamber. A breeze of wind, a dry leaf, or a faded petal was enough to stir my heart. Life was so short, so uncertain, and so easy to be hurt…So I made a decision to take a photo of myself at each and every birthday in all the coming years, so that I could have something to get hold on in the future…

And so, this is the first of a series of birthday photos.

這張照片是十六歲時的生日照。那一年是我自我意識開始覺醒的時候吧,很多時候還會陷入自憐,正如一朵還未開放,就開始預想著自己何時會凋零的花朵一樣,內心無比敏感柔弱。一陣風,一片葉,一瓣花,都可能讓我像葬花的黛玉一般,黯然神傷。人生是如此短暫,歲月是如此易逝,生命是如此無助……也就是從那一年起,我決定:以後每年的生日都要照一張相片留下來。這樣,都其他都逝去之後,最起碼我還有照片……就這樣,我照下了人生中第一張由自己做主要照下來的生日紀念照。

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